Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
