She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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