You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
