Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
