Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
