The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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