his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I party with great urgency now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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