I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
