Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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