So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
