My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
