mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
