I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
