she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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