Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
