He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
