Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
