Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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