Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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