After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
