I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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