I'm really into asian looking animals
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
