I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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