Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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