R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
