I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Fuck appropriateness.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
