She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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