His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
