nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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