I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
