i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
