You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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