The maid of honor just puked.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
