Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
