Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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