Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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