She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
