my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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