He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
