just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize