If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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