i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
