have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
