So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
