I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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