so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I would fuck him just for his dog
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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