Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
