they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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