I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
