i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
