She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
