I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
