You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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