apparently the secret to your success is patron
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
