just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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