I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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