Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
