If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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