my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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