3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He kissed a someone with a penis
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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