Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
