he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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