I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
