I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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